Hello Lovelies!
This is a long one! Grab a cuppa. Find a hygge worthy spot and dive in. I am sharing: Then and Now featuring the first painting I did 10 years ago and some of my latest works - and everything that happened in between; the date, time and location for a meet-up on Saturday 2nd December; and a new plein air date in NSW. Keep reading...
I am ripping off the band-aid quickly today and sharing a cringe worthy photograph of a painting that I did 10 years ago. I was in the season of my life where I worked a lot. I was a very busy executive in mining and my job had me flying and working all over the world. My hobbies included making meal plans, walking my dog, and going to bed early. I craved something, but I had no idea what that was. One day, while sitting on the floor in meditation, I heard a voice inside of me say, "just paint". I found this odd as I had never painted. I could not draw a straight line. But as many of you know, my deepest desire since I was a young child, was to be a painter. So I started. I set myself up in a spare room, lit a few candles, made a pot of tea and made art.
Honestly, I sucked at it but I had a feeling I was supposed to pursue it. I am so glad that I didn't listen to my inner critic.
Without further delay, I present to you, The Work...
SERIOUSLY!
That was where I was at and truth be told, I was happy with it.
I adored the act of making something. I loved the process of mixing colours and applying paint. I loved that I celebrated florals. I felt I had found some sort of zen and I lost track of time - this is the number one hint that you are on the right 'soul path'... I had lost all sense of who I was in physical form. I was not a mining corporate person doing corporate stuff at 3am. I was not a dog walker, the family chef, the older sister, .... I wasn't conscious of myself, at all. I was in flow.
I was deeply connected and awake for the first time in years.
I also sighed with disappointment...The painting is an acrylic and it is a painting of a painting by Pro Hart, the famous Broken Hill painter...I was craving something else: oils - but I had no idea how to move in to that form of painting.
Fast forward six months and I was living in Broken Hill, NSW, having relocated from Brisbane. While there, I toured Pro Hart's gallery and started to experiment with creative endeavours...pottery, more painting, ornament making...you name it. I was still working so I juggled the battles between my right brain and my left brain. But slowly, I did start to see opportunity everywhere.
What painting birthed in me is something that changed me profoundly: the art of slowing down, of really seeing details. While in Broken Hill, I found myself suddenly calm. Walking through my rose garden, inhaling the aromas and marvelling at the butterflies that danced above the bushes, I noted how long my spine was, and how my shoulders were no longer kissing my ears. Until that point in my life I had been on a fast-moving treadmill of doing and seeing but of only superficially experiencing because I was 'busy'. I suddenly found myself far more at peace. The anxiety that had plagued me for decades, those feelings of hurry and get sh*# done, diminished... today I can share that I rarely feel the deep anxiety that previously crippled me.
Art has enabled me to remember my soul. It has taught me that I can take time to figure things out. That I can share my process and hiccups, my wins and vision for myself and my future with people who cheer me on. I have been reminded that my wants are minimal and that connections are my true golden nugget. I am so excited to be able to share what I see and feel with you. I get to welcome people in to my world of colour, of whimsical art and of playful Sundays on my property. I get to witness hard working people drop their shoulders, mix up some colour palettes that delight them, and play, unencumbered. I feel like art has gifted me side-kicks -you- on this journey through life. It's hard to beat!
So fast-forward ten years and this is where I am today....these form my new exhibition, Where the Wild Things Play....
(...keep reading below!....)
So two things to note: one, meditate!!! Seriously!!! Had I not done so, I would not be where I am today. And second, I was always "there", I was always a painter of florals. A lover of colour. A person who loved windy days in the summer when the poppies are out and they are dancing in the breeze. I had always loved poetry about people, nature, and flowers. I had always craved being able to share a love of nature with everyone around me. This love for the environment led me to work in mining. To help rural communities communicate the significance of their environment to the mineral developer and 'the market'. But painting was on another level of self-belief.
When I was 25 I went to graduate school in Montreal, Canada. Every single day walking to classes or my teaching assistant/research assistant job, I passed an art college on St. Catherine's street. Every single day, without fail, I looked longingly as students dashed in to the building, to meet their creative destiny. I shuffled on, through the snow and sleet wishing I could walk-in and take classes too. I never asked myself what was stopping me. At the time I felt that art college was out of reach for me, that it was not within my realm of possibility. I craved it. I dismissed myself.
Believe if it not, I am so grateful that I didn't go in and sign-up for a degree in the creative fields when I was 25. I knew absolutely nothing about life. I would have ended up in a heap of tears, worrying about the grades I was getting, pursuing art practices for references and marks and external validation. I would probably have not developed a signature style. I would have fumbled. I would have felt disheartened and exhausted. I also really knew what I wanted to do in terms of creating art: I was inspired from my childhood by Picasso's expansive creative explorations, and by Emily Carr, an incredible and beautiful Canadian painter and by Jack Shadbolt, his butterflies kept me going while in undergrad at U.B.C. I didn't want to do a tonne of different things, I just wanted to use a palette knife to paint florals in oil.
I believe everything happens in due time. And the timing for me has been perfect. I don't think that at 25 I would have had the courage or the patience (resilience?) to be where I am today. I needed to believe in myself a bit, mature a bit and give less F's...about what other people think of me. It's hard to walk away from a career and start from scratch. Numerous times I was told, "but that's not what you do"... A few of my colleagues thought that I had lost my mind...that I was being 'random'. Truth be told: I had lost my mind. I felt like I was living someone else's life. Coming back to myself necessitated that I drop everything I had built and known so that this version of myself could grow. For my creativity to blossom it needed breathing room and fresh soil...
I am an introverted person with some extroverted sensitivities. Because I started to paint in my mid-forties, I had years of business experience to support me. I had years of travel all over the world to delight in. I had years of exploring varying facets of self-care. I had decades of experience working with people more senior than I, guiding me and supporting me and teaching me when to let go and when to dig deeper in terms of visions and bringing them to fruition. If you think painting is hard, try building a mine in Northern Luzon in The Philippines. The lessons I learned in my corporate career have helped me along my roaming path to this season that I call home today. The entrepreneurial world requires that we constantly put ourselves out there. Social media can either crush us or we can use it to build inclusive, curious, expansive, and kind communities. My belief is that our lives are enriched when we share them with others. Togetherness, connections, community was, is, and always will be, my fuel. This is why I always ask you to hit reply and share your thoughts, day, life, with me. Have you had a moment or an Ah-Ha that made you take note and pivot? I would love to hear about it.
Ten years! I have not been painting this entire time. I worked. I faffed about. I became a yoga teacher and a life coach and I have been helping and caring for family members. But over the last 2.5 years I have been fully immersed in my art practice. The more I do it the more I realise I am only getting started. This is exciting!
Please keep exploring that still deep voice inside that whispers random things to you making you look-sideways at your Self. This is where the magic happens and your soul will thank you for it.
Jamila xx
Did you see a painting that you love ? One great way to make the acquisition is to speak with Martha at Satch and Co Gallery about ArtMoney. Martha is available on 0407 343 528 (friends overseas, please ring +61 407 343 528). This is an instalment plan that enables you to purchase the painting by making ten payments over ten months, interest-free and the most amazing part is that you take the painting home once the exhibition is over (18th December 2023). It is an incredible initiative that commenced during Covid to support the arts.
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